I guess I just wanted to share what God has been bringing me through and showing me through various trials, joys, and everyday living. I should never grow weary in doing good. As I have been in Life Action, yes, I've tried to do everything right. Being on a ministry team, your life is defined by ministry to all those who see you. It's your job, and they know you as Christians who have given up a year to serve the Lord. But I have grown weary. I've bent under the pressure that comes with being a Christ-follower, to be a good example to everyone who is watching me and to give Jesus a good name. I am discouraged when nothing goes right when I'm convinced I'm doing everything right; I expect to be rewarded. How selfish of me to think that in the presence of our holy God. In this past week or so, I realized that this weariness and discouragement comes from a lack of being in the presence of God. I have not sought Him fully and have not labored in prayer. It was I who was the one who had lost the power of God in my life and needed revival, and here I am on a revival team that encourages the people of American churches to be revived in The Lord. The Life Action slogan is "Begin in me". I understand that now.
But, this doesn't end negatively at all. :) For the past several days, God has been calling me out of this spiritual desert into a place of springs. He has made me lie down in green pasture (not suggested - made) and He has restored my soul. The valley of the shadow of death was long but God knows how much I can and can't handle, and He has brought me forth into a land of abundance. He has restored His power and presence in my life by giving me strength to pray, patience to wait in Him in His throne room, and grace to continue on in studying and memorizing His word. I tell you what guys, you NEED to pray, if you feel in the pits. Take TIME to pray, don't just send up a little snippet prayer. Well yes, God hears all prayers and He answers everything asked in His name, but we cannot just rush into the presence of God. I saw a quote on twitter today that said this, by @david_krstevski: "You don't take time to "spend" with God. You take time to "invest" with God. When you spend you have less. When you invest you gain." This may or may not be fully accurate, but still - you must invest in God. Our treasure is in heaven. Why do we focus on the petty things of this earth when there is a prize to be won in heaven - Jesus. I'm preaching to myself. Abide in His glory. When you say "Amen" and get up from your knees, don't think, "I'm done praying". Live a prayer-filled lifestyle, and Gods power will rest on you. Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. Colossians 4:2.
My brain runs at a thousand miles per hour, thus this scatter brained paragraph or two. But I hope you understand and I pray that God would use it to speak to you.
Random fact: the sweetest girl ever from the church we just finished a summit at (Bartlett Baptist in Bartlett, Tennessee) gave me such a sweet gift yesterday. It was a lovely fan her mom brought from China and a Chinese/English bilingual Bible. The Lord used her to be such a blessing.
For your information, I have already raised $230 of my support for the teaching English in China trip, and that is not including those who are waiting for info about how to support me! God is so faithful, how can I doubt Him? I will be sending out a support letter within the next few days, so if you would like to receive one, comment with your email address, or if you're facebook friends with me, just drop me a message with the aforementioned item. :) The letter will contain more details about the trip, how you can support me financially and through prayer, etc. Thank you so much for taking the time to be interested in this new adventure God has brought into my life.
I pray God finds you all well and that He will flood your life with His grace and peace that comes through His presence.
God bless!
贝萨妮
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